God had strengthened me to the point where, in 1998, I met the man who became my husband. Lots of inner issues were revealed in both of us during the brief marriage. First I panicked, disobeyed God, and left the relationship for seven months. A word from the Lord through the woman who became my pastor brought me back to God’s plan. The bottom line of my desire to obey the Lord won out over the fears of my flesh; I humbled myself and returned with new determination to endure relational snares and, through Christ, I did.
We had a rocky eight months together after my return, which led to his departure due to fear of exposure. That’s what the Lord revealed about it and that’s all I’ll say except to add that our choices must align with God’s will and plan for us, or failure will be imposed upon every situation. He left in 2000, filed for divorce in 2001, and in April 2002 it was finalized. It was only “the end” on paper, however. Emotions are deep, delicate, intricate storehouses of good and evil. Only God can heal and deliver emotions, granting traumatic experiences resolution and closure. It would be years more before that happened.
And Now, the Bright Side…
But those “inner issues” I referred to which were exposed within me marked the start of a wonderful new path my life had taken by Jesus’ power. Getting married was just the sandpapering I needed to expose the pattern of grossly flawed fleshly perceptions, mind sets, and belief systems within me which God wanted to dismantle and destroy. Freedom’s “way” had begun to be illuminated for me – truly – for the first time since Ma’s homegoing. What it costs to be free is… everything. Everything of the flesh must be destroyed, and the flesh never comes quietly. Had I known what the next few years would entail… for that matter, had I known what my marriage had in store (partly due to my fear and unwise choices), I’d have duck-tailed and run as fast and far as possible. But I didn’t know all the details because our God is a wise and awesome God absolutely dedicated to accomplishing our freedom and release – so I held on to Jesus and let Him take me through.
I began attending home services with a small fellowship of believers to whom, oddly enough, my ex-husband introduced me. This was a critically-positive move, completely born of God; becoming part of this “family” changed my life indelibly for good and ushered in a time of major rebirth for the Seer gifting and designation on my life. The dark time of “seeing” only demons had come to an end, and revelation concerning the angelic realms was about to brightly ascend on my life’s horizon. Merciful God.
Lord willing, much more about this next week!